by Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
The latest I-Phone, a flashy new computer, or a new (partner) or vacuum may seem exciting at first till we get them home and recognize that what we had previously was so much better than the new one we just landed. Today I share my story of thinking new would be better and what I discovered about human nature and myself.
My experience is about a vacuum cleaner. It could just as easily have been about a cell phone or a man. The similarities and lessons are the same. How can a vacuum cleaner that doesn’t suck be like a man, you ask? Listen and learn!
I have a house full of rescued animals. I love my animals, but they shed. My Hoover vacuum packed it in and just stopped sucking. I cleaned all my filters and decided arbitrarily and without research, it was easier just to buy another. I could have taken it to a repair shop. I could have attempted to fix it myself. I made the judgment that it would cost almost as much as a new one. Listening to my daughter’s advice, I went to Target and made a selection, even though I could have gotten something better at Costco.
Honestly, I didn’t do my usual research, “It was just a vacuum,” I thought. The first use of my new vacuum got me excited. Instead of a vacuum that didn’t suck, I had one that did! I was ecstatic! After one use, however, I recognized that the system to clean out all the pet hair, dirt and dander was disgusting.
Instead of having a central area that could be easily removed and dumped with ease, the new vacuum had several areas that needed to be cleaned out by hand. It was impossible to empty the collection area without getting dirty and dumping debris all over the vacuum and floor.
My Discovery About My Latest Purchase
- It wasn’t as good as my previous one. After closer inspection what I thought was so wonderful, wasn’t. I was hugely disappointed. In fact, I wished I could go to the dump and retrieve my old vacuum. I felt regret that I had given up so soon on my old vacuum and didn’t try to fix it. Now I had to put up with a lesser quality system that made me angry every time I had to empty it, which was every use.
- There was a cost I hadn’t anticipated. I paid more money for this new vacuum. Every time I used it, I said to myself, “I hate this thing!” I felt bad every time I realized that I didn’t recognize what I had previously. Why oh why didn’t I work on the old one and save myself the time and aggravation.
- I was committed to the new one. I spent my money and had used the vacuum. I couldn’t return it. I couldn’t get my old vacuum back. I had to stay with my present vacuum until it died, or waste money and buy a second one.
How often do we give up what we have with the thought a newer model would be better and find out that we made a huge mistake. Just because something is new, doesn’t make it better. In fact, sometimes knowing the one we have will allow us to work around the shortcomings in other ways.
Then The Worst Happened…
My new vacuum crapped out on me. It stopped doing what vacuums do best – suck. I returned from a two-week vacation to find my house filled with cat hair and a vacuum that wasn’t working. At first, I thought, I will have to buy a new one. My next thought was, “I can’t fix this!” When I realized that I was saying NO to The Universe and opportunities, I changed my thoughts into a YES! In fact, a “Hell YES!”
I Asked Questions
I knew I tossed my previous vacuum aside prematurely. I learned from this lesson. I asked if there was a way I could learn how to fix my vacuum. Ah! The Internet! I went to my trusty computer and found a site for the Do-it-yourselfers. I read enough to feel confident and got out my tools. I opened up the back of the vacuum and unscrewed the panel and found where the hose was clogged to capacity. I used a hangar to pull out the horrible stuff and voila! My vacuum worked better than it had in months.
This vacuum cleaner taught me some very valuable lessons. These lessons can be applied to dating, marriage and relationships. How often do we give up on a relationship because we don’t know how to fix it? How often do we avoid talking because we have blocked emotions and reactivity getting in the way of smooth communication and understanding?
- I discovered positive traits in my new vacuum, I didn’t previously notice when I stopped being so negative and judgemental about it. There were washable filters which I didn’t have to replace monthly that saved me money. When they were clean my vacuum operated exceptionally well.
- Once I learned how it got easier to take care of my new vacuum, I found it infinitely easier going forward. Yes, I still had to get my hands dirty each time I emptied the receptacle, but it worked so well when I did.
- My judgment made things worse. Once I got out of my own way and realized I can do this, we worked together to make things work. I kept the vacuum filters cleaned and emptied and it began to suck like it was meant to!
- New isn’t the answer. Instead, work on what you’ve got, getting a new anything isn’t necessarily the answer when the issue is within.
If your relationship sucks or doesn’t suck, isn’t it time to get the help you need to keep it chugging along at its highest and best? If you are in a space of ready to take your relationship to the dump, maybe you need to set up a FREE discovery session of 40 minutes where I impart valuable tools for you to begin using right now and find out if my work is a good fit for you.
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