In a nutshell – everything. Just walk in front of a man naked and your job is done! Men want you to touch their penises. End of story. Men can get a hard-on by being kissed. Oxytocin is released in a man’s body, which arouses him through kissing. If you haven’t touched his penis yet, now would be a good time.
Men and women also have vast neurological differences.
Most men spend the majority of their day wondering when we are going to touch their penises. As soon as we do, they wonder when we will touch it again. Women’s brains turn to sex only once in twenty-four hours versus most men’s every 52 seconds according to Louann Brizendine, author of The Female Brain. It gives one pause to wonder how men actually accomplish anything during the day.
Men’s bodies are bathed in testosterone, which is a key component causing him to think of sex so frequently. Women are also governed by hormones that affect her values, desires, what’s important to her and even whom she loves. Ms. Brizandine’s findings also explained why women value communication as one of the key components of a relationship.
Women speak 250 words per minute while men use only 125. In an entire day, a woman uses 20,000 words, while a man only uses 7,000. Women also know intuitively what others are feeling; while men are busy thinking when someone is going to touch their penis next? Sometimes men are thinking of other things, but every 52 seconds he is thinking of when he’ll be in the sack next having his penis worshiped. (Yes men, I know you think about other things besides sex.)
When women communicate with other women, they prefer to face each other making eye contact. They listen intently to what the other has to say, using affirming sounds like uh-huh, umm, okay, which let the other know they are listening. They become emotionally involved in the other’s story and may even cry together. A sense of closeness develops through sharing each other’s lives. This type of communication rarely occurs in marriages. It is learned but not innate.
Men’s communication style is a derivative of the hunter-gatherer days where they walked side-by-side, spread out across an open field. They worked together to track down and hunt prey. Today, men prefer to sit at angles to one another or side by side, without making intense eye contact. Conversation with men is action driven. They expect to resolve something by talking about it. They glance at one another on occasion, sitting quietly, rather than making sounds as women do. They rarely share deep personal situations preferring to engage in activities, like chopping wood, or riding bikes together rather than to sit and talk.
I recently visited a neighbor named, Greg, who’s wife left him and his two small children for another man. We talked for hours about his situation along with how he was feeling about her betrayal. His roommate and he had never discussed her leaving. I found it so strange that these two men did not talk about something that was clearly such a profound emotional issue for him. He had no way prior to my arrival of bouncing his feelings off another. He was apologetic about the way he opened up to me. He commented he did not normally share such private details with anyone. It is not unusual for people to open up in my presence, pouring out their hearts and tears to me without me doing anything.
Sociologist Catherine Kohler Riessman reports in her new book “Divorce Talk,” that most of the women she interviewed with only a few of the men, site communication issues as the reason for their divorce. With divorce statistics being over 50% of all marriages, communication between men and women is the greatest issue facing us today. Most wives want their partners to be partners in a conversation above all else while their husbands do not expect the same of their wives. Sex is non-verbal communication. When sex is good, verbal communication is also.
Without good communication, sex and love are meaningless. When sex goes away, there is no way to dissipate the tension between a couple. Attitude, reactivity, and negativity contribute towards poor communication.
Sex is the unspoken communication between a couple. When two people are in sync, sex becomes an art form of fluid movement. It creates mutual pleasure. There is an unspoken understanding between two people that comes from the ability to communicate their desires or wishes verbally and nonverbally. The spoken word assists the non-verbal communication to be clearly understood.
We have seen the cartoon of the aging husband, a cup of coffee in one hand, with his nose in the morning paper. Pan to his wife looking angrily at the back of the newspaper, wanting to talk. Men typically do not express themselves the way women do.
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