By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Men are what their mothers made them. Ralph Waldo Emerson
You might not like where we are going today. In fact, if someone told me I needed to heal the relationship with my mother to have the love I desired, I would not have believed them, untill I lived it.
If we hold disdain, disregard, disrespect, hatred, resentment or and ill will towards our mothers, we will not receive unconditional love from anyone else. P.S. I have proof!
My mother and I have had a rollercoaster of a ride of ups, downs, twists and turns. I have hated her, resented her and been completely triggered by her presence and her voice. When I was about fifteen, I asked her why she was such a bitch. She beat me over my back while I was on my hands and knees washing the kitchen floor. I think I was fifteen at the time.
There was more abuse I won’t mention here (read Odyssey Victim to Victory). Now, I call my mother daily. I asked her this morning as I
asked her yesterday, “How did you get so wise?” She responded yesterday that she had learned so much from me and my experiences.
Today, she said, “If you haven’t learned anything by the time you get to be 94 there is something seriously wrong!”
Our mothers may not have given us what we wanted when we were children, but they did give us what we needed according to our soul contract. No one has such an intimate connection with us from birth that can do such damage to our psyche as our mothers.
For many of us, like me, our mothers might have been emotionally unavailable, cold, cruel, unloving and harsh. They might have been absent, alcoholics or drug addicts. They might have died when we were very young. The point is that all that happened was pre-destined for your soul’s highest good.
These events happened so that you would experience emotional pain, suffering and eventually heal, grow, evolve and become enlightened. It is what you are here for. It is what you have asked for.
I have done hundreds of hours of forgiveness work with my mother. I have cleared until I couldn’t uncover another issue. My mother and I now have a loving close and connected relationship. She no longer triggers me to react. In fact, even when she tries, she can’t. I accept her the way she is. I can’t make her work on herself anymore than she can push me to do anything I don’t want to do. It wasn’t easy to forgive. It wasn’t easy to let go of what happened in the past. I did it for me, not for her. However, she benefitted as well. I am her only daughter. I am the only one that has a close, loving relationship with her. I did it so that I could have what I have always wanted: an unconditional love that nurtures and supports me in a healthy balanced way.
Today, my relationship with my molesters and all perpetrators is one of complete forgiveness and neutrality/love. We need to be in an emotionally loving state with others, without triggers to have true love.
Ready To Do This On Your Own?
- Recognize that your mother had to contend with her issues of abandonment and pain.
- Put yourself in her shoes. Feel what it would feel like to be an orphan at five like my mother was, or to be beaten, unloved, uncared for or neglected.
- Do the Ho’oponopono Prayer of forgiveness for you for asking for this in your soul contract. Spend at least twenty minutes in prayer repeating the prayer below slowly. You may cry. Allow whatever needs to come up to surface. Don’t push emotions back down. Feel them fully.
- Repeat step three for your mother.
- Feel compassion for yourself.
- Feel compassion for your mother. This one may be difficult. Do it regardless. Anything worth having is worth doing the work it takes. Remember holding resentment causes cancer and other autoimmune diseases. (I healed both of mine through loving me and forgiveness.)
- Say a prayer of gratitude for your mother giving you life. You have no idea the sacrifices that she made for you.
- Begin a relationship with your mother in a new way. Send her a note. Call her. Tell her you are sorry for anything you did to cause her harm.
- If all of the above are too challenging for you just yet, envision a bowl of fluffy pink icing. In your mind spackle mom head to toe and front to back with this fluffy pink icing. (Yes, this is a way to send love to her when you feel anything but!) Do this every day until you can feel the love flowing between you and your mother. THIS WORKS! You don’t have to have a conversation with the person to heal the relationship. We are all energy. Energy flows wherever we send it – even to those who have left the physical plane.
Ho’oponopono Prayer of Forgiveness This prayer is a Hawaiian Kahuna Healing Prayer. Powerful and profound. Repeat slowly for at least twenty minutes without distractions of phone, music or television. Allow your emotions to surface. Cry if you need to, allow yourself to FEEL FULLY. Doing less does not release the trapped emotions. Get an energy clearing to assist you. I am sorry Please Forgive me I love you Thank you
If you are ready to have the love of your dreams, connect with me and let’s partner for your healing so you can have the love you desire. I did it! You can do it! I will show you the way, lovingly with my velvet hammer. Says she smiling. It took me over thirty years – longer if you count from the time I decided to become enlightened at the age of sixteen.
Visit my website for more information on my services.
AphroditeEffect.com This site is for those who long for love, confidence, complete self-acceptance, enlightenment, strength, to stand in their personal power, be authentic and orgasmic. Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE. Find Jennifer’s books on Amazon.