Searching For Love?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters ~ Love and Passion Coach

We have all been there. We try to make a guy like us. We can wear our best outfit, our sexiest of heels, but the more we try,
the less they like us. Why? Because we aren’t being authentic. 

The best way to attract a guy is to be you. Most men want a woman who is confident, stands up for herself and knows what she wants. 

We are happier when we love and respect ourselves. The stronger our self-esteem is, the more attractive
we are to men. The more needy we are, the more available we make ourselves and the less authentic we are. When we are needy it is like fishing in the ocean without any bait on our hook. The best way to catch a man is by being completely in love with ourselves. I am not talking about conceit, but authentic self-acceptance.

When you are comfortable being who you truly are, men are drawn to you like a magnet. 

Most women look for a relationship to make them happy, when it really is the other way around. No one can make you happy but you. The happier you are with you, the more attractive you become. Your inner beauty begins to radiate outward making you a magnet for men and love. 

Love comes from inside us.
If we don’t love and approve of ourselves, we feel empty, lost and search for love outside of ourselves. If we are miserable being alone, we won’t be much happier in a relationship. We think we will be happy once we have a relationship because it is what we see on television and in movies. The temporary happiness we might feel in a relationship will go away at the first sign of trouble.
How can you tell if you love and approve of yourself? People that love themselves have the following traits.

You focus on the positive traits in you, rather than the negative.
You love yourself unconditionally. You lovingly embrace your flaws and faults knowing you are a work in progress. You don’t try to be perfect. You also accept others as they are.

  1. You feel good about yourself no matter what your weight is or whether you are in a relationship or not. You are happy with you.
  2. You take good care of yourself getting plenty of rest and eating healthily.
  3. You aren’t concerned what others think about you. 
  4. You are authentic, the same with everyone, rather than a chameleon that changes with each person you are with. You won’t fake or lie about liking something when you don’t.
  5. You feel complete and happy on your own, rather than looking for someone else to fill your emotional needs.
  6. You are happy as you are and don’t try to change or fix others.
  7. You honor yourself. You won’t do things you don’t want to do, just to keep a guy.
  8. You have self-respect. You won’t stay in a bad relationship because you are afraid you won’t find anyone else.
  9. You know your value. 

Love begins and ends with you. If you don’t love you, how can you expect anyone else to? We can’t show up looking for a relationship expecting someone else to fill us up. We have to fill ourselves up with love first.

Think of your mind as a magnifying glass. Whatever you think about expands. Focus your thoughts, and attention on your positive traits. No one is perfect, however when all you think about is what is wrong with you, you are magnifying the negative rather than lovingly embracing all parts of you. You can’t cut the parts of yourself out that you don’t like, love them anyway.

Think of all the things that you love about you. Even if you can’t come up with five things, look deeper. “I love my skin, hair, nails, legs, eyes.” Rather than standing in front of the mirror in the morning picking apart your face and body, begin to tell yourself, “I love my face. I love my body. I am beautiful.” Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Even if you don’t believe it at first. Your unconscious mind is like a computer. It will reprogram itself with consistent positive input. 

It takes 30 days to change a pattern, so don’t give up after one or two days. Mantras have been used for thousands of years to heal the mind. Use a mantra before you go to bed at night like, “I love me.” Repeat it when your mind is in neutral, in the shower, driving, putting on your make-up. 

What you put in your mind will also come out. You will find yourself feeling happier and more positive when you begin putting positive thoughts into your unconscious mind.

Rather than searching outside of you for someone else to love you, begin spending time getting to know what you want, what you love and what you don’t. Do what you love to do, rather than waiting for someone else to take you or go with you.

Do things that make you happy every day. Happy people please themselves with small things. Take a walk outside in nature, a visit to a park, exercise. Take care of you. The happier you are the more attractive you will be to men. Pretty soon you won’t be worrying if you can find a man, instead you’ll wonder which one should I pick?

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
is an author of Orgasm For Life, and Odyssey Victim to Victory she is a love and passion coach and intuitive healer. She works with women looking for love, building confidence and self-esteem. Jennifer has been on a healing journey for over 30 years, overcoming her own self-hatred, and sexual trauma. Her  website is Are you ready to find a different love, one that suits you? Jennifer’s an expert at helping people attract a higher love, that floats your boat and fulfills your dreams. 

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