Self-acceptance is about loving ourselves as we are with all our warts, faults and foibles. Everyone has weaknesses and strengths.
Non-judgment is resting in our heart without making a determination of how we think things are. Judgment is often cruel, heartless and often prejudiced.
We can look at others and make judgments based on how they look. For example, last night I attended a gathering where there were individuals in their early twenties and some in their mid to late sixties. When one young man took his shift off to enter the pool an older gentleman judged him on the tattoo art he displayed on his back. The young man was viewed as dark and dastardly because in a moment he chose a particular shape to be tattooed. Making a judgment about someone’s character without knowing what is in their heart is unjust and prejudiced.
Insecure people strive to be perfect, while those who accept themselves do so as they are, without attempting to be perfect. Perfectionism leads to anxiety, stress and even depression because it is impossible to reach the goal of perfection. Perfectionism can cause us to remain stuck and stagnant rather than improve in the areas where we lack expertise.
Men and women come to me for a variety of reasons. Most people want to be happier or have the relationship that continues to elude them. The key to being happier with ourselves and those around us is to accept ourselves, others and life as it is.
I remember when I was unhappy with myself my relationships and my life. I was like a salmon trying to swim upstream. My life was a struggle. Relationships were wrought with challenges. Even my relationships with my children were difficult because I wanted to change everyone. We might think we are helping others by telling them what or how to do things. The truth is we don’t accept ourselves when we have the need to direct, change or fix others.
When we complain, bitch or moan about our kids, friends, partners and life, we don’t accept things as they are. We can’t possibly be happy when we complain because we are focusing on the negative or what we don’t have. If we find ourselves single make the most of being single. Do the things that you have always wanted to do but were unable to do before your last relationship. Often we change ourselves and our likes and dislikes to meet the needs of our partner. When we change or give up things we love to do, we can become resentful or on the extreme end feel dead inside.
What We Give Up For Others
When we don’t stand in our power, we tend to give away too much. We might give custody of our children to our ex, a pet away because our new boyfriend is allergic, or stop doing yoga, meditation or running because it interferes with what our partner wants. Giving away the farm as I like to call it is never a good thing. We wake up one day and wonder where we went because we feel we have lost ourselves and our way.
When we constantly worry about what others think of us, we disempower ourselves and focus on others rather than feeling good inside. When we change our personality and behavior to fit the needs of others, we weaken our power and become the chameleon. Chameleons change their color depending on their environment, out of fear.
What Insecure People Are Afraid Of
not having a partner,
no one will ever love me
no one will find me attractive
time is running out I better keep the person I have
When we accept ourselves the way we are we become comfortable being authentic. We no longer have to pretend to be something or someone to feel good when we are authentic. We don’t have to change with the wind or the situation because we know who we are and love ourselves as we are. There is nothing more powerful than being able to walk into a room full of people and be you. When we love ourselves, we aren’t afraid that others won’t like us. We aren’t concerned what others think of us either when we accept ourselves as we are.
When we love ourselves, we are content being alone because we like who we are. Self-love includes loving acceptance of all that we include the shadowy parts of ourselves. When we are filled with self-loathing and insecurities, we fear to be alone because we don’t have a clue who we are. We fear what we don’t know. I recommend falling in love with you, it could be your greatest love affair of all time!
Find out how your life can become happier with self-acceptance and non-judgment by working with Jennifer. Jennifer is masterful at getting to the root of your issues and uncovering your strength and beauty within. When you begin to recognize the truth of your being your talents, gifts, and strengths are revealed, you feel more confident and accepting of yourself.