I overcame being a magnet for narcissists and in this video I’ll share how you can do it too!
When I began to look back at my relationships beginning with my mother who had Borderline Personality Disorder, I found that narcissists seemed to be a repeating pattern for me. If you like me found quite an array of romantic partners with narcissism you are not alone.
There are three characteristics that magnify our attractiveness for narcissists they are:
- the need for validation outside of ourself
- no boundaries
You might think that people-pleasing is a positive trait but it has a very dark side. When we really look at this behavior we are manipulating others to receive love in return. (How do I know without a doubt that this is true you ask? Because I did it myself and my ex-husband very clearly pointed this out to me!)
When our parental units didn’t praise us and did the opposite criticized our every move you might feel the need for outside validation, like me. Or rather like I used to. When we seek the validation of outside influences rather than become our greatest cheerleader and source of validation we fall prey to narcissistic abuse.
Narcissists use the carrot of “Love-bombing” which is an intense feeling like no other of love to draw us in followed by intense criticism which over time destroys our self-esteem and identity. We might end up feeling totally lost
We might think that you have strong personal boundaries
when in fact we don’t.
I remember doing landscaping all day, picking up my daughter from the After School program, cooking a delicious meal then driving across Atlanta to deliver dinner to an ungrateful narcissistic boyfriend. I didn’t see it! Then I would drive back home getting my daughter into bed way too late and me too!
When we give too much of ourselves we loose who we are. When we have no personal boundaries trying to please someone else we deplete ourselves so that nothing is left of us.
The truth is that no one is more important than you.
If we don’t, value ourselves, no one else will either.
The very person who needs to mean the most to us is
Give yourself the gift of love this holiday and join me on New Year’s Day for my FaceBook live event and my LIVE Masterclass in January! Or listen December 18th to the Transformation Show at 1:30 PM PST